I'm going to start right off the bat by warning you that this post contains my opinion, which as you may or may not know, may offended you. If that is going to bother you please stop reading now.
Okay, so my opinion on this as a parent is yes, it is a massive pain in the ass to not be able to send my extremely picky child to school with a peanut butter and honey sandwich (his favorite). So he just takes honey (almost everyday since JK) not the end of the world. Not for me not for him.
That note that I got home the time I bought him the fancy honey that kind of looked like peanut butter and forgot to send a note in his lunch bag about how it wasn't peanut butter (seriously it was apple cinnamon) was embarrassing but also not the end of the world.
Having to check ingredients in what I snacks I send him with, annoying but really he probably shouldn't be eating most of that crap anyway.
If someones kid got sick because of something I sent with my kid to school I would feel guilty forever. And probably a bit longer than that. I am blessed beyond belief that my children do not have any food allergies, because their mother does.
Thankfully, none of mine are life threatening. Otherwise, as my mother would be happy to attest to, I never would have made it out of childhood. I was that kid who just wouldn't listen to my mom. No matter how sick I got I just couldn't stay away from foods that I was allergic to. In my case the biggest culprit was chocolate. (so you can totally see why right?)
The number of times one of my parents had to sit up with my sick as a dog ass because I just couldn't resist something at one of my friend's houses or a school party is higher than I can count. Definitely every Christmas until I was around 12. I am surprised my mother didn't just start keeping me home.
My mom did everything she was supposed to do as a parent, she informed the school of my allergies. She told my friends parents, she told me about what I was not allowed to eat and how I would get very, very sick. Guess what? I still did it.
Even after I got very, very sick. Like wish I was dead sick, I still did it. Because I just wasn't that bright as a kid. I was about 11 or 12 before I figured out that it was better not to feel like crap.
Now I'm not saying that anyone else's kid is as stupid as I was but I would rather not take that chance just in case my kid decided to share his lunch. Which they do, no matter what anyone tells them. I know this because he comes home all the time asking me to buy him weird snacks.